Simple Sob Story

This year we’re having a SIMPLE CHRISTMAS unless the coffee and computer fairies intervene.

Not happening.  It's like getting "group"-married in front of the justice of the peace and not being the couple chosen to be photographed with the judge.  We're neither colorful nor dull enough to be a good PR opportunity.  

One morning after Thanksgiving I sat demurely in front of my computer drinking coffee. Then suddenly I blinked or something and jolted my cup and spilled coffee on the keyboard.

One minute everything is fine.  The next minute you so want that last minute back.  The screen went dark--weird ghostly shapes flashed like a city skyline-- and the keyboard absorbed the coffee. 

You can't imagine how horrified I was.  I pushed the button.  Nothing happened.  

Who can fix the computer?  it involves three bus transfers.  Naturally it's the mall that's OUTSIDE the county. You have had very good luck with the Apple store  So you jump into your parka, coddling your laptop inside a bookbag.  

You get the REAL genius at the genius bar, fortunately. He is the genius all the other geniuses consult.  Somehow nobody was very shocked about the coffee incident. The genius suggested that I dry the computer in front of a fan for a few days.  If this didn't work, it would cost  $700 for Apple to repair it.  He threw me a couple of contracts just in case.

My distressed, memory-impaired laptop regained part of its intelligence.  It couldn't operate unless plugged in.  As the second genius at the genius bar said of its partial recovery, something wasn't communicating with the battery.  The keyboard might go next.  "You can use it as a desktop."   But I would have had to send it to Apple for a couple of months to repair other functions and who knows (this my doubt) if they could really fix it?  

Anyway, you can imagine the expense.  A new laptop is $999.  Yes, the prices have come down.  But the price no longer includes the word-processing program.  Remember the great days of Appleworks?  Now you have to spring for iWorks unless you have an old version.

Spilling coffee on a computer means we can’t spend a lot on gifts this year.  And guess what?   You know it’s actually nice not to worry about shopping.  I don’t recommend spilling coffee but the season isn’t as depressing when you're spared the shopping thing.

My husband wants a solar flashlight and he will get his solar flashlight.  I want socks and will get socks.  We all want books--and couldn't the book fairy extend some credit? Christmas has been completely cut out of a couple of relatives' lives (except for the dinner) and they neither give nor get gifts.  They're sensible.  At the last minute we’ll run off to the neighborhood stores because we’ll realize everybody secretly wants stocking stuffers.